


Baking A Cake Isn't Hard (Except That It Really Is)

by MoMoMomma



Series: Howard's Birthday Fics [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baking, Birthday, Domestic Fluff, Humor, Kid Fic, Kid Tony, M/M, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 15:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoMoMomma/pseuds/MoMoMomma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the BBB universe- All Bucky wants to do is make a cake for Howard's birthday, something homemade and sweet since, really, what do you get the man who has everything? And, of course, tiny Tony should help, it's his father. How hard do you have to close an oven door on your head to knock yourself unconscious? Bucky's just curious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baking A Cake Isn't Hard (Except That It Really Is)

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't decide where to put all these so I just put them in a whole new thing! I'm trying desperately to get over the massive writer's block I have for the WAGHS and BBB universes, so please bear with me. If you want to watch me complain about this awful block (and learn fun facts from the 'verses or yell at me to write) come visit me at momomomma2.tumblr.com and, as always, enjoy!

“Tony, no, Tony, stop. Tony—damnit, kid, I _know_ you know what NO means!”

Tony cheerfully ignored him, chanting a mantra of “Da” as he leaned towards the utensils Bucky had strewn across the kitchen island. Bucky sighed and tried to re-arrange the kid in his arms, looking back at the recipe Jarvis had left him once he’d told the man he wanted to bake Howard a cake.

“Alright, it calls for eggs. If I sit you down on the counter, can you not fall off and break your face?”

Tony nodded very seriously—like he fucking understood, which was unlikely for a year and a half year old—and Bucky decided to trust him, settling him in the middle of island and turning to grab the eggs from the fridge. He turned back in time to see Tony trying to eat the spatula and snatched it from him, tapping it against his nose and blowing a raspberry in his face. Tony giggled, clapping his hands together before pointing at the eggs Bucky held.

“Eh!”

“Yes, eggs.” Bucky said, placing them next to Tony’s leg. “Don’t put them in your face.”

He turned away once more, digging below the cabinet to find a bowl big enough to mix everything in. Bucky heard shuffling behind him, grabbing a big bowl at random and spinning.

“Tony! No!” He let the bowl fall from his hands, grabbing at the egg—what was _left_ of the fucking egg—in Tony’s hand and tossing it into the sink.

The boy was grimacing at the taste of raw egg, his tongue hanging out as he whined. Bucky groaned and started scooping out as much as he could, focusing more on the pieces of shell than on the egg itself.

“No, no, I don’t feel sorry for you. I told you not to do it. Give me the—Anthony Edward! Do NOT bite me!”

Bucky fished the last piece out and glared at the kid, shaking his damaged hand. No, the nerve endings were either dead or desensitized so it didn’t hurt as much, but anyone sinking a tooth into you tended to sting a little bit. Tony—the little shit—cooed and clapped his hands happily, reaching down for another egg. Bucky snatched them away, putting them on the other side of his body.

Tony frowned unhappily up at him before pointing towards the eggs, pounding his other hand on the counter.

“Eh! Wa eh!”

“I don’t care if you ‘wa eh’, you’re not getting salmonella. Now are you going to help me make Daddy’s birthday cake, or are you going to eat the eggs and go to the hospital?”

Tony crossed his arms and huffed, but nodded and pointed to the bowl on the floor.

“Dada cay.”

“Thank you.” Bucky said generously, scooping the bowl up from the floor and placing it in front of Tony, letting him pick it up and fling it around as he looked for the flour.

In retrospect, not a great idea on his part. Which Bucky realized. After Tony hit him in the head twice with the bowl. He snatched it away and set it down, giving the boy a glare once more.

“Enough, Anthony. I’m going to pour the flour and ingredients in now. Do not touch this bowl. Bowl?” Bucky gave it a little shake, meeting Tony’s eyes. “No.”

“Bo no.” Tony echoed, clapping his hands together and nodding.

It went well, which should have been Bucky’s first hint that something terrible was going to happen. He managed to get the batter made—as well as the frosting, though he had to wrestle the sugar away from Tony—and all of it was the correct color and consistency, exactly like Jarvis had said it needed to be.

“Alright, let me check the oven and then we can pop this stuff in. Your Daddy is going to be home any second, but that’s okay. We can decorate it with his help.” Tony nodded seriously at Bucky’s words, even happily repeating the ‘Bo no’ sentence.

Which should have been Bucky’s second clue of the coming apocalyptic event.

Bucky checked the oven, grinning when he saw it was perfectly pre-heated, and grabbed the pans off the counter to pour the batter into, turning back. Those same pans went crashing to the floor as he watched, in horror, while Tony picked up the bowl of batter and upended it over his head.

“Tony!” He grabbed the bowl away, picking the now batter covered child up from the counter and holding him at arms length, glaring at the boy.

Tony, for his part, seemed angry with his current situation, kicking out at the bowl on the counter and shouting “Bo, no!”

Like it was the bowls fault Tony didn’t understand _physics_.

Bucky opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short when footsteps sounded in the hall, Bucky and Tony turning in horror just as Howard stepped into the doorway. The smile on his face quickly melted off as he surveyed the mess, eyes lingering over Tony’s body before he looked at Bucky.

“What….happened….in here?”

“Dada cay!” Tony answered happily, flinging his arms wide, Bucky sputtering as some of the batter flew off to hit him in the face.

He smiled weakly at the man and gave Tony a little jiggle, shifting his weight.

“Uhhh, haaappy birthday? I baked you….a baby.”

Howard stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, doubling over the clutch at his stomach. Bucky slowly started laughing as well, Tony laughing at the sound of them, happily eating some of the batter off himself. The sight made them laugh harder, Howard stumbling across the kitchen to wrap his arms around Bucky’s waist, safely leaning away from Tony’s dirty hands that reached for him.

“So it’s a good birthday present?” Bucky asked, still struggling to talk through his chuckles as Howard nodded, cupping his face to pull him into a kiss.

“The best.”


End file.
